Cannes or Can't Do

"When you wake up in the morning and you turn around and your ass falls off", retorted Sly Stallone on his view of retirement, but it is also an appropriate analogy to the Cannes Film Fest - as its ass has fallen off.

Statham, Ford, Stallone, & Gibson yuck it up in Cannes

Touted as the world's biggest and best film festival, France's renown gala is showing signs of losing its, once, unchallenged hold on contemporary cinema.  Critics scrounge the ranks of the entrants for, this the 67th festival, in the hopes of finding quality selections to judge. The digital age has not been kind to Cannes, nor has the shift in the public's desire for films they now gravitate to - as the high-impact, special effects driven films that are now the blockbuster bruisers of today's cinema do not gel with the demure sophistication that Cannes tries to portray.

This year's festival may be pivotal, as attending cinema aficionados and industry hoi polloi streamed into the Cote d'Azur and got an even heavier dose of turmoil that has become the norm at Cannes. Food and accommodation prices so sky-high that even well-heeled celebs give a second glance a bills - with comments about gouging, poor service, and inferior libations commonplace.  This year's headaches were compounded by worker strikes at French airports and taxis services. "There's always something, some protest or strike, during Cannes, but this year it's really extreme. It's affecting everyone", stated Claire Stewart, Director of the London Film Festival.

All abroad in Cannes on a Soviet Tank

Cannes is burdened with chaotic logistics that need addressing but, more importantly, its focus is out of sync with moviegoers worldwide. Selections are made by the festival's current director, Thierry Fremaux, who has been roundly criticized for his lack of creativity and in protecting certain directors at the exclusion of others, namely younger and female film makers. For example, of the 19 directors in contention for the grand Palme d'Ore prize, 13 have already been nominated at least once before. Critics contend that the competition has become a 'cozy club' where the chosen few are never rejected. So, like Cannes itself, the selections foster a tarnishing reputation that needs a re-work.

Cannes, like all film festivals, should be about promoting and pushing the art of film-making, not about awarding old story-lined films we have all seen before ad nauseam.  It's called a 'festival' because its purpose is to celebrate, appreciate, and award new films that push the envelope not re-seal it.

The Expendables' geezers took Cannes by storm and were the hit of the gala

The Croisette is the main drag in Cannes and as two tanks rolled in all traffic came to a complete halt.  Atop the tanks were the stars of the film 'The Expendables 3' which was being promoted during the festival and kind of poked a stick in the eye of the festival itself.  The tank stunt contributed to the estimated $2 million for the film's promotion at the festival, which featured all of the big name leads, in addition to Stallone - Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, as well as, new cast members: Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammar and Antonio Banderas.  "We are the children of arthritis," said Stallone, "We are young forever."

'The Expendables 3' opens worldwide in August.