Body Language: It's How We Communicate

What Is Your Body Language Telling Others

Only 5% of our communication with others is verbal - the other 95% is communicated through our body language.  Understanding this non-verbal communication is crucial to getting the most out of our relationship with other people. We all have relationships with others on a daily basis.  The waiter, the store clerk, family members, co-workers, friends etc. we have relationships with everyone we come in contact with - and they are communicating with us via their body language.

In this two part post I will be discussing what to look for and what others are telling you through their body language and, perhaps more importantly, what you are telling them through your movements, gestures, and poses.

Worst Body Language Faux Pas:

- Avoiding Eye Contact: This is a signal of deception, or worse, a lack of respect. Keep eye contact with others in conversation.

- Slouching: Shows a lack of confidence and poor self-esteem. You are unsure of your position and signals weakness.

- Weak Handshake: Both men and women should have a firm handshake. A weak shake indicates a lack of authority. However too firm a shake for too long shows aggression and is just as bad as a weak shake.

- Folding Arms: Indicates discontent and lack of interest. Also signalling 'shut-down' and withdrawal in men and women but women may do this for warmth reasons.

- Looking Down: Particularly when making a salient point in a presentation or at a meeting looking down saps all the power out of your argument and indicates weakness.

- Angling Body Away From Others: Shows that you are uncomfortable, distrustful, or disinterested in the subject under discussion.

- Fidgeting & Touching Hair: Women do this but notice how many men fidget with their hair. This can reveal discomfort and anxiety, and a lack of self-confidence.

- Invading Others Space: 18" for N. Americans is about right. Being too close to others makes them feel uncomfortable and could show aggression on your part.

- Frowning/Scowling: The most unconscious of communications these facial indicators show unhappiness and/or disagreement.

These are a few of the worst body gestures or poses and are very telling about the feelings of others. Be aware of them when dealing with others and of using them yourself.

In the next post we will discuss the cross-cultural aspects of body language and signs.

Best,
Jim Lavorato